Forbidden musings

At the point of a loaded pistol the highwayman of old used to demand, “Your money or your life!” When one is diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer the medics offer you a similar choice; “Your sex life or your life!” For me, at close to eighty years of age that one was a real no-brainer so I abdicated my sex life. The medication did the rest. However the pills do enable a new and curious objectivity of thought - and in my experience they cannot erase one’s general interest in the subject of sex or one’s sexual memory! Now, I should add that these remarks have perforce to be from the male perspective. Perhaps the female perspective is different. (Like most males I have my theory on that.)

We males talk to one another about many things; almost everything in fact, with the probable exceptions of our true personal finances and our true sex lives. (Our physical wellbeing is often another taboo area although I have noticed a tendency to reveal all about that, too, as I and my friends grow older).

I have opened up much of my own financial circumstance in my autobiography, SO WHAT? But I have skated with rather more care around my sex life. So here I’m going to take a deep breath and dive deep beneath those rose-tinted, sweet smelling, warm ‘though dangerously shark-infested waters. Should you have a problem or feel an embarrassment about that, please go off and read something more comfortable elsewhere. (But come back another day, please. I really need and do appreciate your company!)

It is quite obviously true that the act of sex is hardly ever the procreationally motivated procedure for which one has to believe it was designed. It is for most of us an intense pleasure, a routine kind of physical excitement and very often an undeniable compulsion - whether inside or outside the marriage bed. Either way the acts of sex are much akin to rather pointless tight rope walks across Niagara Falls; walks culminating for many in a swim through very troubled waters down below.

Shame on you Adam! You had to go and bite into that bloody apple, didn’t you? And to hell (literally) with the fact that you ruined or preoccupied so many billions of lives down so many millions of years. How much greater would this species of ours be, had you initiated a more innocent, less sensory, less mandatory a way to procreate? i.e. One less demanding of our mental, physical and moral resources, thus leaving us to concentrate on things of greater importance to ourselves, our species and planet Earth.

According to the 2005 Global Sex Survey by The London Rubber Company (Durex), adults today have on average a lifetime total of nine sexual partners. At once the question is raised; am I getting / did I get my fair share? My own answer would be (probably) ‘yes’. I have a vivid memory of walking with my beautiful, much loved wife into a neighbourhood party, looking all around and fancying every female in the room! And actually being jealous of all the other males! Disgraceful? Not really, mind games don’t count!

I have to believe that, in a monogamous society, out of wedlock experiences usually give rise to considerable negativity. Short term physical gain (pleasure) for long term emotional pain (misery) in fact. It takes a dispossessed, therefore dispassionate view such as mine to see that sex outside of marriage is tantamount to a visit to the sweetie shop, only to discover that all the nicest stuff is actually poisonous.That bloody apple all over again!

Anyway, that's enough of all that ....Thank God I don't have to venture out across that damned tightrope any more.

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